WOW!

What a difference a few days makes! My hubby lost his job, and we're moving back home to Kansas. Whoopeeee!!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not happy he lost his job, but I can't wait to get back home! I like the people here in Killeen, but I didn't realize how homesick I was until there was a chance for us to go back home. Things will be difficult, and after the move I might not post for a while because I'll be looking for a job and trying to get unpacked, etc. There has been so many changes to our family in the past few years, I'm hoping things settle down for a while so I can catch my breath. I'm hoping to post a couple of times before we leave, to journal the last few days before we're outta here. We're set to move the 30th of March.

Fall Forward, Spring Back

I have to remind myself lately that life
is more than piling dishes, paying bills, doing duties.
I turn around, I blink, I stare too long
at that clown-shaped cloud,
and the years have flown, my little girl grown,
my baby boy, a stubble-chinned youth, and I
can’t remember what it was like to see the future
without first counting the mistakes
of my past, as if counting them
makes them count today.
Squinting with miasmic eyes, I attempt to scan the sky,
to assume some form of foresight.
I can just make out the beginning of the end, and I realize
on that far horizon could reside my fate.
Rather I’ll watch rapt as the bozo cloud
metamorphoses into a bunny rabbit,
pay close attention
to that floating changing opening of the heavens
that allows the sun to momentarily blind me--
that illuminates my way.

--Nan Whetstone

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Yes, it's that time again. I'm 43 today. My husband asked me this morning if I felt old. I said no, just more tired.

I had quite the day yesterday. I lost both my cable and my telephone at the same time, for some unknown reasons (no, the bills were paid!) With my cell phone, I didn't miss the phone that much, except that I couldn't get online, but man, did I miss TV! There wasn't even anything on, it being a Sunday afternoon, but just the fact that I couldn't channel surf about made me insane!

Since my hubby and I both have to work today, we celebrated my b-day yesterday. Erik made me a cake and when Terry got home from work we all went to my favorite Mexican restaurant. Terry and I had fajitas and Erik had chicken enchiladas and a serious game of moon-eyes with the cute little waitress. Then we went home and ate birthday cake and watched Blazing Saddles, one of my favorite movies of all time.

It might sound boring to you, but, more importantly, did I have fun? Is Bismarck a hewwing?

So, I must sally forth into the evening and work tonight. It's the first time I've EVER worked on my birthday in my entire LIFE! Can you believe that? Usually, come hell or high water I take the day off, but with all the changes going on in my life I just plain forgot my birthday was coming up in time to put in for the day off. So sally forth, I must. I must, I must.

Enough esoteric Blazing Saddles references. If you haven't ever seen the movie and have no idea what I'm talking about, for god's sake go out and rent the damn movie! It's hilarious! What have you been doing with your time, anyway? Nuf'm, eh?

Anyhoo, here's a pic I find wicked cute.

Yes, Rainy really sleeps this way.





Today's poem:

Wild Oats In The Slow-Cooker

When I mixed my future,
I was not yet old enough
to stir.
I had not paid for my meal.
My emotions were
not yet ripe,
my decision-making abilities
unseasoned.
I could not taste the sweetness of life,
nor the bitterness of living that life.
I did not feel the grit between my teeth--
my sauciness did not relieve the dry texture.
My world was bland when I did what I did,
and in my search for spice,
I lost the recipe I was taught to follow.
Now, I must eat my hasty words.
If the concoction does not taste good to me,
then I have learned
never to challenge fate again.

--Nan Whetstone

Now, go do that voodoo that you do so well!!!

Friends Coming Out of the Woodwork!

It's so cool, I was just feeling like all old my friends had forgotten me and then I hear from a whole bunch of them. I finally got in touch with Faith, which was awesome. I wrote to Betty, and she told me that my friend Susan had changed her e-mail account and wanted to hear from me, so I wrote an e-mail to her also. Susan is really cool. She's such a talented poet and so wise. I'm really lucky to have friends like her. They keep me from giving up on myself, something I have trouble with sometimes.

Sometimes it hits me how many truly talented people I know. It's really amazing. Faith is a prolific author and editor, Susan an accomplished poet and artist. Jeskan is only a young man and such a promising musician. My own daughter Jenessa is an incredible artist as well. Terry can run any kind of machine, fly planes and jets, drive any vehicle and fix it too. My mom is also an artist and I believe she can do anything, she's the original super-woman. I'm just happy to know all of them. They are all such an inspiration to me. They encourage me to do the things I like to do, as well as I possibly can.

As long as I'm on the subject of things I like to do, here's a picture of one of my necklaces. It's made of Flourite chips and silver beads. It's adjustable to any length, and has a removable Aventurine Kwan-Yin pendant.

Kwan-Yin is the Buddhist goddess of mercy. She protects artisans as well as women and children. I consider her my "personal" goddess. Every woman should have her own "personal" goddess, one she identifies with, to act as a sort of role model. She need not interfere with whatever religion you follow, she is just there as a symbol of female strength. I am not a Buddhist, I'm not really religious in any way. However, Kwan-Yin is a great source of personal power and security for me. I like to think of her as a "spirit guide".

And here's my poem for today.

Perspective

I string things together
pretty, small things
that in my hands
somehow become bigger.

Dreams that I meant to live
slowly gather dust--
as days go by
their importance dwindles.

--Nan Whetstone